its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
