Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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