Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
