either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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