Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
