everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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