i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
