so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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