we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
