Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
