yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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