I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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