Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
This is the high leading the old right now
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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