I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
