This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
