On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
