ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
