So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
