Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
