I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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