woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
