mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
