You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
