So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
false alarm, still single
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
