I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
