yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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