I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Reggie can tackle my bush.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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