Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
