This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
