When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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