sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
