That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
