I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
