fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just want nice things and good sex
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
