So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
