I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
of course. lets lasso hookers.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
