What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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