Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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