I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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