btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
