so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
