i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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