We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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