I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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