Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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