I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
