I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
