So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
