hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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