Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
