So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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